My mother's convinced that the world is more violent than it used to be because parents don't spank their children anymore. Remember when you could just get popped for being a kid. Mom, I want lucky charms...they got an authentic batman decoder ring in it and everything. Please. Please! I'm not going anywhere not until you say I can have it. The next think you know. She's in a full wind up and BAM!

What's this time-out crap that kids get today. The only time-out I ever got was the time I spent on the floor unconscious after taking a beating. My mom got so good at it she was like one of those pre-cogs in the minority report. Her eyes would start fluttering and then...BAM! Mom, I didn't do nothing. Well, you were about to. Now get your ass in the cart.

It didn't matter that I was already eleven and my legs couldn't squeeze through the holes anymore so I had to lay them over the side.

Remember riding in the car. Just to set the record straight, the kids in the back seat have really been setup for failure.


Illustration © Simon Victor

It's your typical proletariat struggle if you think about. The rich bourgeoisie, my sister, has secured the coveted front seat and my little brother and I are stuck with her sloppy seconds. Now, I don't know how familiar you are with Marx's Communist Manifesto but he had the foresight to see that no matter how true the intentions, the proletariat, that's me and my brother, will inevitably become frustrated by their position in life and take it out on each other. It's only a matter of time before world war three breaks out. Now if the tensions weren't high enough, you could always depend on the bourgeoisie to add that single straw needed to break the proletariat's back.

"Did you get your report card today? I got mine. All A's again".

Bitch! That's when my little brother got it right between the eyes. BAM! Now in hind sight, I realize that his crime was just in his proximity but somehow at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. So I'm having the most surreal experience of my entire life.

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The World is More Violent

Steve Dock